


Because You Don't Mean It

by timetravelingpalmer



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Someone Help Her, just a lot of feelings, nora's got somethings to work through, ray just loves her so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 15:12:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15367374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timetravelingpalmer/pseuds/timetravelingpalmer
Summary: “I love you.”“Don’t say that Ray.”-----Nora is haunted by her past as she tries to move forward with Ray.





	Because You Don't Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> hey !!  
> I was just thinking about this a lot so I finally wrote it and it just came out a lot more sad than I thought it would be. Also, I had been thinking about a darhkatom hercules au for like three weeks and this is basically a really angsty, not musical version, of "I Won't Say I'm in Love"  
> hope you like it !!

He meant the words. They were spoken softly, yes, but full of purpose. In a determined sigh.

“I love you.”

He meant the words. That’s what scared her most.

Her eyes, once shut in a blissful haze, shot open, widening as she processed what he said. Her mind raced a mile and minute but before she could form a single coherent thought. She blurted out an easy escape. 

“Don’t say that Ray.”

Through the dim lights of his room she could see his eyebrow quirk up in the confusion, but the dopey grin he always seemed to wear when they were alone was still plastered across his face.

“Why not?”

Nora really didn’t want to go through the motions with him. So, instead she pushed herself away from him to the other side of the bed where the sheets lay cool and lied through her teeth.

“Because you don’t mean it.”

 

She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that he would say that she was right, claim it just slipped out or said it by mistake, but she knew that would never happen. The evidence was everywhere. it was terribly hidden in his eyes, in the way he looked at her day after day, wearing a joyous look of admiration. 

“Of course I mean it.” 

He reached through the space she had put between them, trying to hold her hand, to comfort her, but she only shook him off. He shouldn’t be getting more attached than he already was.  
instead of saying a word back Nora bit down on her lip, keeping the strangled sob creeping through her throat back. 

“Nora, I don’t care if you aren’t ready to say it back yet.”

Why did she expect Ray to be anything but perfectly kind and considerate? Even when he had essentially just signed his own death warrant. 

“That’s not,” her voiced cracked, “that’s not was this is about.”

 

Those eyes. Those damn puppy dog eyes bore into her like a flashlight through the smog. Concern radiated through them.

“Then what is it about?”

She stayed silent once again, fat tears threatening to fall. 

After a silent beat Ray persisted. “Nora-”

“You shouldn’t love me.”

The words came out harsh and poisonous, as if she were trying to make her point even more clear. She wanted to prove that his proclamation was a deadly mistake, to beg him to take it back. 

Now Rays concern found a partner in sadness. She had already down what she was afraid of doing. She had hurt him. 

“Why shouldn’t I?”

She tried to keep her lips tightly shut. She didn’t want the monstrous, ugly truth to spill out, but she couldn’t let him dangle like this, filled with doubt and worry. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Ray shook his head “Nora, how could you ever -”

“Everyone that’s ever loved me has left. I’ve hurt people and they rightfully leave.” She wiped furiously at tears that have already slid down her cheeks, trying to erase their tracks.

He was pleading with her now. “Nora,” he said, reaching out again.

“No Ray,” she continued to push back.“I hurt people. I hurt you. I would never be able to live with myself if I ever did that again.”

Because he didn’t deserve it. Ray deserved nothing but love and compassion and those were two things Nora was scared she could never give again. He cared about her when no one else would. He placed bets that she could be better but he should have just folded. 

Nora pulled herself on to the edge of the bed, facing away from Ray. She knew if she looked at him and he asked her to stay she would. She would do anything if it could bring that smile back to his face but she knew that road that he wanted to travel was destroyed and dangerous and would end in more heartbreak than he was facing now.

She made a move to lift herself from the bed, ignoring every part of her that screamed at her to stay and listening to the one cruel voice that rang in her ears telling her she could only ever hurt Ray. 

Before she could take a step away she felt Rays hand on top of hers. It was warm and inviting, comforting her when she didn’t deserve it. This time she didn’t pull away. 

“Nora-“

The solemn helplessness of just that one word drove an icy dagger through her heart. Tears flowed more and more and she gave up on wiping them away, instead she just squeezed her eyes shut. 

“You’re not going to hurt me.”

Her walls came knocking down as her head whipped around to stare at Ray incredulously. 

“How can you say that when that’s all I’ve ever done?”

Ray looked at her like she just asked him what two plus two is. He spoke softly. 

“Because I trust you, probably more than you trust yourself. And because I know that you’re a better person than you ever give yourself credit for.”

Nora shook her head slightly. How could he be this naïve and trusting and still be alive? “You can’t just erase everything I’ve done Ray.”

“I’m not trying to erase it. I’m trying to help you see that you're moving past it.”

She wanted to scream. Tell him that’s he’s wasting his time. He could rant and rave about how she’s a better person now all he wants but it would never change the fact that she doesn't deserve better. She doesn’t deserve him. 

She looked away again, this time very interested in the small checkered pattern of the sheets. 

“Nora. Will you please just look at me?”

She didn’t want to. She knew there would be no relenting, that he would end up pulling her back in like a tractor beam, but she closed her eyes and sighed before looking up. 

“Everyday you show me the person you were always meant to be. The person you are without Mallus or anyone else holding you back.” He squeezed her hand which still lay under his. “I trust that Nora. I know that Nora would never hurt me. I fell in love with that Nora because I know that she is the real you.”

She knew that there was no use in arguing with him anymore, he was far too stubborn, but she continued anyway. 

“I don’t deserve it.”

“Everyone deserves to be happy.” Ray stated it so confidently, like it was fact. Nora almost started to believe it was true. 

“I’ll just end up hurting you,” she said, still trying to prove him wrong. 

This time he just grinned and pulled her closer, and this time she didn’t push him away. She felt herself drawn back into his arms. 

“I’m stronger than I look you know,” he chuckled out quietly. “I think I’ll be okay.”

His embrace was so secure and soft Nora couldn’t believe she had tried it leave it not only a few moments ago. 

“Sometimes I really hate how you seem to just have the answers to everything, how you just make everything so simple.”

Ray laughed as he pressed short kisses into her hairline. “That is not even a little bit true”

“But it is. You always tell me what I need to hear.”

Nora looked up at him from where she lay on his chest. His eyes now vacant of the concern and helplessness that once plagued them and now were filled with nothing but joy. 

“It’s not that hard. I just tell you the truth. Which happens to be that you are a smart, capable, and amazing woman.”

“Oh god, there you go again.” she said. exasperated laughter crept into her voice. “One of these days Ray you’re going to have to learn not to be so nice to me.”

Ray animatedly furrowed his eyebrows, pretending to be in very deep thought, weighing the chances back and forth in his head. “Seems pretty unlikely.”

Her laugh came out soft and sweet as she pulled him in for a kiss. 

She knew then too, that she loved him back.

**Author's Note:**

> give kudos/comment if you enjoyed this !!


End file.
